Category: Self Assessment


The summer has been interesting.  Ups and downs.  Work has been busy.

I’ve found myself having some highs and some lows.  No extremes so, I’m thankful for that.  All within the “norm”.

Although far between, I’ve found encouragement and hope when needed.  One of my recent favorites is “…treat each day like it’s your last, like tomorrow will not come, say goodbye to yesterday…”.  Too often I forget the value of each day and all the potential that it holds.  I get caught up with work demands and think of time with my son as a commitment, not a gift.  I need to get things back into perspective.

Meds have been working well.  Received a letter about doing a trial for a new med.  Thought about it.  Thinking about it.  Not sure.  Maybe there’s something better.  The Celexa seems to be working quite well, though.  I’ve noticed as we enter Fall, my emotions are a bit more varied.  Last Spring – when I went through the intensive outpatient program – my doctor mentioned it may be seasonal.  We thought that as my lows seem to occur Spring and Fall.  Bummer.  Fall is my favorite season…

Hope you are all doing well.  Sending you my best.



When we choose that which is not best for us, there can be a deep seated part of us that does not want to heal.

In almostevery case, we know what is best for us in our lives, from the relationships we create to the food we eat. Still, somewhat mysteriously, it is often difficult to make the right choices for ourselves. We find ourselves hanging out with someone who leaves us feeling drained or choosing to eat fast food over a salad. We go through phases where we stop doing yoga or taking vitamins, even though we feel so much better when we do. Often we have no idea why we continue to make the less enlightened choice, but it is important that we inquire into ourselves to find out.

When we choose that which is not best for us, the truth can be that there is a deep seated part of us that does not want to heal. We may say it’s because we don’t have the time or the energy or the resources, but the real truth is that when we don’t take care of ourselves we are falling prey to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage happens unconsciously, which is why it’s so difficult to see that we are doing it. The important thing to realize is that this very part of us that resists our healing is the part that most needs our attention and love. Even as it appears to be working against us, if we can simply bring it into the light of our consciousness, it can become our greatest ally. It carries the information we need to move to the next level in our healing process.

When we recognize that we are not making healthy choices, we might even say out loud, “I am not taking care of myself.” Sometimes this is the jolt we need to wake up to what is actually happening. Next we can sit ourselves down in meditation, with a journal, or with a trusted friend to explore the matter more thoroughly. Just shining the light of our awareness on the source of our resistance is sometimes enough to dispel its power. At other times, further effort is required. Either way, we need not fear these parts that do not want to heal. We only need to take them under our wing and bring them with us into the light.

Excerpt from:
April 27, 2010

Shedding Light On Ourselves
Parts That Don’t Want To Heal